“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.
A video recaps the end of last week’s episode of NXT. Eli Cottonwood was eliminated and proceeded to attack Husky Harris, who was in the bottom of the NXT Poll along with him. That caused a big brawl between all the NXT Rookies. The video made Cottonwood look better than he ever was at any point in the competition. It’s amazing what some computer graphics can do.
The NXT video plays and the pyro goes off in the arena. Michael Cole and Josh Mathews welcome us to the show. The WWE Pros are on the stage and ready to evaluate the matches.
Matt Striker is in the ring and welcomes the crowd to the show. He then introduces the six NXT Rookies to the ring. Striker says before they can go any further they have to talk about last week’s brawl. Striker says they need to be on the same page. They need to “kiss and make up”. Not with each other, mind you: wrestling is, er, homoerotic enough. They’ll compete tonight in a Kissing Contest. The crap contests return.
The Co-Women’s Champions Lay-Cool come to the ring. They say they want to see them as lovers. How they kiss will tell them a lot about how they’ll be as a WWE Superstar. Wow: they’re going to kiss Undertaker’s wife? They have cojones! They just have to kiss them as long, soft, and passionate as they choose. Then they’ll choose who the best kisser is. If they win then they get a fabulous package of prizes.
Husky Harris is the first up. McCool points out that his shirt says he’s an “army tank with a Ferrari engine”. McCool reminds him that he knocked them down last week so this week he has to sweep her off her feet. McCool then says they won’t be kissing them. Instead they bring out the 1993 homecoming queen Margarita.
Margarita is, for lack of a better term, fat and ugly. They make no bones about her shape on commentary so why should I have to be PC in the recap? The rules will stay the same: they kiss Margarita and she’ll judge. Husky Harris wants Michelle McCool back but she says no. Harris cradles Margarita back and plants a quick one before running off to dry heave. She has chocolate on the side of her mouth. This is nasty.
Michael McGillicutty is next and he licks the side of her face. That was disgusting. Margarita didn’t seem to like it either. Lucky Cannon gives her a nice kiss. I’m starting to think that’s not chocolate: perhaps herpes. Percy Watson doesn’t look happy about this and gives her a very reluctant kiss.
Kaval is up and they don’t want to give their rookie up to the nasty Margarita. Layla then plants a giant kiss on him. The crowd isn’t happy that he got the easy way out so he has to kiss Margarita. He does and dry heaves just like the four before him. Alex Riley then plants a passionate kiss on Margarita and promptly falls back.
Margarita thinks about it and chooses Lucky Cannon as the winner of the competition. The prize for everyone is a bunch of things and cooties. Are you kidding me? The contest was bad enough but the fact that it has no effect on anything for the rest of the show makes it even worse. This was everything that’s wrong with wrestling today. This belonged on TNA.
Kaval (1-4) vs. Husky Harris (3-2)
This is a rematch from last week. The pros are on the apron coaching them. Harris gets a quick waist lock so Kaval quickly gets to the corner. Kaval kicks and charges out of the corner. Harris takes him down and applies another waist lock. Kaval fights up and elbows out. Kaval then drops down and kicks him in the face. Kaval hits a spin kick to the midsection and a stiff kick. Kaval then counters a back body drop with a dropkick from mid-air. Nice! Harris rolls outside and catches Kaval coming at him with a plancha! Harris then slams Kaval into the barricade! That was nice!
Kaval rolls in before being counted out and takes a two count. Harris viciously knees the back and applies a knee to the back chin lock. Harris sends him to the corner and charges into the boots. Kaval avoids a splash in the corner and hits some quick jabs. Harris takes him down and catapults but Kaval lands on the second rope and stomps him! Harris kicks out at two. Kaval misses a handspring splash so Harris capitalizes with a sambo suplex. Harris hits his Senton Splash for the win! That was a fun match.
Winner by Pinfall: Husky Harris (4-2)
Match Rating: * 3/4
They kept pushing that the matches tonight mean something with an elimination looming next week.
The Miz is shown in a pre-taped segment ripping on Michael McGillicutty. The Miz says that he’s seen this before. The kid wants to follow in Daddy’s footsteps. Dad was great and he’s mediocre.
Michael McGillicutty, with Kofi Kingston, is interviewed by Ashley Valence. McGillicutty says Miz knows nothing about him. McGillicutty is going to challenge The Miz and we’ll see who’s mediocre. Lucky Cannon then walks up with Mark Henry. Cannon says he wants to beat The Miz as well. The Miz, on stage, stands up and says they should have a match. Then maybe the winner can take him on in the ring tonight. Kingston tells him to put his money where his mouth is. McGillicutty will take on Cannon and the winner will face The Miz tonight. That is, of course, unless The Miz is afraid. Kingston then mocks him. They go back and forth until The Miz agrees to the match.
Michael McGillicutty (5-0) vs. Lucky Cannon (2-4)
They lock up and Cannon quickly takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Cannon applies an arm bar and then a key lock. Cannon knees him hard in the head and punches away in the corner. Cannon goes for a monkey flip but McGillicutty shoves him off. McGillicutty dropkicks him in the skull and hits the McGillicutter for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: Michael McGillicutty (6-0)
Match Rating: 1/2 *
Michael McGillicutty will face The Miz in tonight’s main event. The Miz’s rookie Alex Riley will take on Percy Watson tonight as well.
The announcers run down the Summerslam card. It’s looking solid.
Matt Striker puts the Pros on the line and asks who the worst pro is. Kofi Kingston says it’s Lay-Cool since they had Kaval coming out in a pink shirt for the first half of the season. They respond that Kingston is the worst because the WWE Universe loved the shirt. They boo. Mark Henry says the worst pro is the one with the first elimination: Zack Ryder. Cody Rhodes says the worst pro is Kofi Kingston since he’ll take his Intercontinental Championship sooner rather than later.
Zack Ryder goes to give a rebuttal but The Miz walks out from backstage in his ring gear to give his opinion on who the worst pro is. The Miz says they all are. John Morrison says something and The Miz shuts him up, telling him that he’s done nothing since they broke up. Owned! The Miz says he’ll lead his rookie to a win because he’s The Miz and he’s AWESOME!
Alex Riley (3-2) vs. “Showtime” Percy Watson (2-3)
As Watson comes back he says, in a pre-taped interview, that he can’t get along with Alex Riley. He’s disrespectful and thinks he’s better than everyone. Watson thinks he’s more a Junior Varsity Villain than anything. Lame!
Charles Robinson has this hopefully short match. Riley punches away at Eddie Murphy and applies a headlock. Watson whips him off and gets shoulder blocked down. Riley goes into the ropes and eats a back elbow for a one count. Watson wrenches the arm and punches. Riley punches, misses a clothesline, and takes a step-up enzuigiri. Watson gets the crowd into it but Riley shoulders him and DDTs him on the apron. Riley gets a near fall for that.
Riley kicks away and applies a submission. Watson fights up and punches but Riley clubs him. Riley sends him into the ropes but Watson holds on and hits a back elbow. Watson hits a pair of dropkicks. Watson has a whip reversed but he hits a diving clothesline. Watson has another whip reversed but he counters with a roll up for a near fall. Watson goes for the ten punches but Riley hits an inverted atomic drop. Riley sends him into the corner face first and hits his TKO neckbreaker for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: Alex Riley (4-2)
Match Rating: * 1/4
The Miz will take on Michael McGillicutty next.
The Miz vs. Michael McGillicutty (6-0)
The Goose has this one. That’s Mr. V’s favorite referee. They lock up and The Miz powers him to the corner. The Miz rubs his forearm on his face and slaps his chest. McGillicutty takes him down and The Miz quickly turns it on him. McGillicutty applies a hammerlock and gets elbowed in the face. The Miz sends him into the ropes, misses a clothesline, and gets rolled up for a two count. The Miz quickly comes back with a million dollar knee lift and kicks him in the ribs. The Miz abuses him a bit and throws his body on top of McGillicutty who was hanging on the rope.
McGillicutty gets an inside cradle for a near fall. The Miz immediately responds with a vicious clothesline and he baseball slides him out of the ring. Kofi Kingston gives some advice. It appears to have worked as he drives The Miz into the apron. Scratch that: The Miz big boots him down immediately after. The Miz puts him in the ring and gets a near fall.
The Miz applies a chin lock but McGillicutty fights up. McGillicutty goes nuts on him in the corner and the crowd gets into it! McGillicutty runs into a back elbow but quickly capitalizes with a clothesline. McGillicutty hits a belly to belly suplex but misses a dropkick. Miz kicks him in the head and hits the Skull Crushing Finale soon after for the win!
Winner by Pinfall: The Miz
Match Rating: * 1/2
The Miz makes it seem like that was a nothing victory and talks with Alex Riley in the ring as the show ends.
Quick Match Results
Husky Harris (4-2) def. Kaval (1-5)
Michael McGillicutty (6-0) def. Lucky Cannon (2-5)
Alex Riley (4-2) def. Percy Watson (2-4)
The Miz def. Michael McGillicutty (6-1)
Bump of the Night: Harris slamming Kaval into the barricade!
Match of the Night: Husky Harris vs. Kaval * 3/4
Did the first fifteen minutes of this show get replaced by TNA Impact? That’s the only thing I can think of at the moment. That was an abortion of a segment that didn’t belong on a wrestling broadcast. The rest of the show was a damn good wrestling show. However I’ll bet you half the people who tuned in didn’t see the rest of the show due to that kissing contest and that’s unfortunate. The rookies really showed us some stuff.
I liked the mini-storyline tonight with Michael McGillicutty and Lucky Cannon both vying for an opportunity to face The Miz. That led to a squash match that made Michael McGillicutty look good and then a match against The Miz that made him look even better. Let’s face it: the name Michael McGillicutty sucks but he looked good in the ring with The Miz tonight. It looks like he belongs. I think he has a decent look but his work is there and it’s good.
My favorite match tonight was Husky Harris vs. Kaval (obviously: I did make it the Match of the Night). They picked the show up from the opening segment and made it enjoyable again. Both of these guys will be on the main roster. They’re just fantastic. I’m happy Harris got the win tonight. They obviously want him to stay on the show. If the voting is legitimate, and I think it is, Kaval will be in the top three no matter what. If Harris picks up a solid win over him then that may raise his stock. The match was great and I think it may have opened some people’s eyes for him. Husky Harris must stay on NXT!
Lucky Cannon needs to go the way of the Dodo. He’s overstayed his welcome on NXT. I’m looking forward to seeing him go next week. Vote him off people!
Final Rating: * 3/4
E-Mail – MikeyT817@hotmail.com
Be sure to check out Friday’s Smackdown recap.
Thanks for reading!